Grief Therapy: Understanding Grief, Loss, and Healing

Grief is often talked about as something that happens after a loss, after a death, a breakup, or a major life change. But for many people, grief is quieter, more complicated, and harder to explain. It can show up in everyday life, affect mental health and relationships, and linger in ways you didn’t expect.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Why am I still feeling this?” or “I don’t even know what I’m grieving,” you’re not alone.

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What is grief?

At its core, grief is a response to loss. That loss might be obvious, like losing someone you love. But it can also be less visible, like losing a relationship, a sense of safety, an identity, a dream, or the version of life you thought you’d have.

Grief can also be anticipatory or preemptive. This means you might start grieving before a loss fully happens, for example, when a loved one is unwell, when a move or transition is coming, or when you realize something meaningful is ending. Feeling sadness, anxiety, irritability, guilt, or even numbness during these times is a very real form of grief.

It’s also worth remembering that grief isn’t something to be “fixed” or “cured.” It’s a natural response to loss, and even the most emotionally regulated people experience it. Talking to someone or seeking support doesn’t erase grief—it simply helps release some of the pressure, like letting air out of a balloon before it becomes too much.

There is No “Right” Way to Grieve

One of the biggest myths about grief is that it follows stages or a predictable timeline. In reality, grief is anything but linear.

Some days might feel okay. Others might feel heavy, emotional, or draining for no clear reason. You might cry easily, or not at all. You might feel relief mixed in with sadness—and then feel guilty about that relief.

All of this is normal.

Grief looks different for everyone, and it can change over time. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or “moving on.” Often, it means learning how to carry the loss in a way that feels more manageable.

When Grief Goes Unnoticed

Not all grief is recognized or validated. When a loss isn’t obvious, people often minimize it—sometimes unintentionally, sometimes because they don’t know what to say.

You might catch yourself thinking:

• I shouldn’t feel this way

• Other people have it worse

• I should be over this by now

• I can't handle this anymore

When grief is pushed aside or ignored, it doesn’t disappear. It can be quiet and internalized, showing up as anxiety, low mood, irritability, difficulty concentrating, or feeling emotionally stuck, or in contrast, be showing up physically, through fatigue, tension, stomach issues, headaches, or disrupted sleep. These aren’t signs that something is “wrong” with you—they’re often signs that grief needs space.

Finding Your Own Ways to Cope

Everyone can benefit from finding personal ways to navigate grief. This might include:

• Creating rituals to honor and remember the people, relationships, or moments you’ve lost. This can be as simple as lighting a candle, keeping a photo, or writing letters.

• Drawing on cultural practices that feel meaningful. Traditions, ceremonies, or customs from your background can provide comfort and a sense of connection.

• Building new routines that allow space for both grief and self-care, like journaling, walking, or sharing stories with loved ones.

• Remembering the people or experiences you’ve lost in small, intentional ways each day, keeping their memory alive while adjusting to life without them.

Grief is a personal journey, and the ways you choose to cope can be as unique as your experience. The key is to give yourself permission to grieve, honour your losses, and find rituals or practices that help you feel supported along the way.